First obstacle is TIME. My first question is this: When will I sleep? It's a fair question. I often stay up until 2-4 in the morning, working in my current situation. Adding school will be a new element all together. Here's a "Cliff's Notes" overview of the weightier things on my plate:
- 6 children- 3 of which are toddlers. (Enough said.)
- A business to run that is still in the building process.
- I am an author for a religious site.
- Gospel doctrine teacher at church on Sundays. (Albeit this is shared with 4 other teachers so that burden is lightened.)
- Part time choir teacher during the school year.
- Laundry, cooking & cleaning for 8! people. Which is a full-time job in itself.
The second obstacle is MONEY. Due to a life-threatening injury and subsequent illness, my husband needed a career change. Consequently, he is a full-time student and not working. My business is so new that I am not yet "in the black." Our finances are sketchy at best BUT this much I know: Heavenly Father has a plan that includes me, my family and our finances. His direction was completely clear to homeschool, therefore He will make that possible. I will post at a later time about how we are obtaining curriculum and supplies this year, even when finances are a little scary right now.
The third thorn is getting rid of the FEAR that has so enveloped me regarding this new direction. Here's a short list of things that I fear:
- Failing my children now so that it negatively impacts their future.
- Schedules scare me. We are implementing a schedule now (it is summer) and will admit that we often fail, even at our modified summer schedule.
- Damaging my relationship with my children as I have more responsibility/ authority over their lives.
- Losing my cool. Yep. It's a possibility.
- A VERY messy house. I don't have to have an immaculate home BUT I don't do well when there is constant chaos.
- Being judged and not wanting to fall in to the trap of judging others. (A 2- edged sword.)
If I can learn how to truly Walk By Faith, these obstacles won't cause fear at all. This much I have learned: those who the Lord calls, He qualifies.
He has qualified me over- and over- and over again throughout the years when I have been completely inadequate for tasks, so why not now? He has parted my own symbolic red sea many times throughout the years and will do so again.
It will take faith.
It will take work.
It will take much prayer and fasting.
It will require large life adjustments, but I know that He will guide me through this phase of my life and He will allow me to walk on dry ground. I will have more experience under my belt and wisdom in my soul.
He is such a good God and I completely trust His plan for my family.